CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
