He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you traded sex for a burrito?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
