Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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