Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
