i just wanna soil my oats bro
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
