He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
