Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
