I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize