i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm always down for nudity.
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