you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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