wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
