Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
