and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize