and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My balls are so social today.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
