so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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