btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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