So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
