you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Semen is not good for contacts.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
