Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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