..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
