A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize