No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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