You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
