the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
