she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize