I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
