OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
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