I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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