you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
