I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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