she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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