i think my tv is drunk
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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