she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
