Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
