So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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