Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
