I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize