They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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