Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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