break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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