i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
