There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
