I must be too annoying 4 u.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
