I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize