I wanna bring you to show and tell
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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