I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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