god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
