I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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