no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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