I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
