We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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