she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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