Your face is a jimmy john
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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