Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
