When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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