In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
