I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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