i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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