He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize