I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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