I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
