Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize