i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize