ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
